Do you need a mentor or a therapist?
Every single person would benefit from having a mentor in their life.
Someone to challenge, champion and cheer them on.
I think secretly we all long for a man or woman of outstanding character and faith to burst into our workplaces or churches and tap on our shoulder and say ‘I see potential in you let’s chat’ as Paul did with Timothy. However, the likelihood is you are currently surrounded by untapped mentor potential in your existing community.
The best mentors are those who you have been worshipping alongside and watching their walk over time. Incredible men and women of wisdom and experience who instead of tapping you on the shoulder perhaps you should ask them!
One thing though before you go and have your own ‘I see potential in you to be my mentor’ conversation, do you need a mentor, coach, friend or therapist?
A lot of the time we get these four confused.
We expect mentors to listen to our pain when really, we need a therapist.
We expect mentors to be skilled in a specific area of professional or pastoral talent when what we are looking for is a coach instead. Or we place too high an expectation on our friends to champion us when they need someone to cheer them on.
Working out if mentorship is the right route for you in the season you are in right now allows you to ask the right people for the right support.
Perhaps you need all four and if so great, but don’t expect one person to be all four for you.
If you are looking for a way to work out who to ask to be your mentor here’s a set of questions that should help you get there-
Q-Who around me models a faith I aspire to?
Q-What would l like to grow in (character/spiritual gift etc) and who around me do I see embodying this or operating in their giftings in a way I would like to?
Q-Do we get on? – there has to connection for mentorship to work
Q-What are my expectations? Be clear with yourself, so you can be clear with them.
If you have a name, set yourself a date that you will approach them about mentorship, and make sure during that conversation you communicate-
What would you like to grow in
Why you are asking them
What your expectations are
And if they agree, a match is made!
Remember mentorship should be fun for both you and them.
Keep it casual.
Always be prepared with a couple of questions every time you meet but don’t interrogate them. You can send your questions or thoughts in advance to your mentor so they can prepare for your time together, and give them time to answer or come back to you at a later date with their thoughts. Mentorship relationships aren’t one-off sessions where everything needs to be covered in one go, but a longer-term commitment to stay connected and in conversation with one another.
One more thing. If a few names came to mind when you were working out who would be the right person to ask, GREAT. You can have more than one mentor, lucky you!
You will benefit from having multiple people investing in your life.
Cheering you on!
Written By- Marie Aitken